What is Puer Aeternus / Puella Aeterna?

Described as the eternal child, they represent the inner child of people, the eternal youth, the spirit of the soul, etc.

Origins

The reason for this psychology stems from childhood and the fact that you weren't independent and were always protected as a child. For some it's growing up too quickly, gaining maturity as a child and being responsible for managing other people's emotions.

Characteristics of The Eternal Child

Such people have a lot of potential but they waste their potential by indulging in escapism. They develop a mother complex and cannot stay consistent and commit to anything. Long term commitment is their weakness. They romanticize suffering and embrace it as their identity.

They love to be identified as a misunderstood genius or a person who is miserable in order to gain validation. They always crave attention and want others to think highly of them. Their crafted self image matters to them more than anything else.

If their crafted self image is threatened, they won't hesitate to take others down with them, even those who try their best to help such people in every way and provide them love. They are oblivious to other people's feelings and usually think that the world is a cruel place.

Reflection and Shadow work

However there is a bright light at the end of the tunnel. Such people possess tremendous power to change the world through their natural spirit and usually the Puer Stage is the last stage that a person has to go through to achieve total self awareness.

In order to catalyze this process, you need to act like an adult to your inner child. Work on your shadow to identify the cracks and the reason for the Puer behaviour, Gently guide your inner child as a caring person, don't validate him but don't ignore him as well.

Have yourself take responsibility, finish tasks in small steps, give yourself the opportunity to grow - because this is the way the child grows. Start committing to things, when you see the streak build up, you will increase inner confidence that you lost in the process.

When you increase your inner confidence, you become more internally focused and stop romanticizing staying miserable. Now you don't need validation because you are internally validated.

Conclusion

The Puer Aeternus and Puella Aeterna is a stage that everyone goes through in their life. The key is to not get stuck in this stage and move forward with self awareness and responsibility.

Key takeaways from this blog

• • Circumstances in childhood can lead to the development of Puer Aeternus / Puella Aeterna psychology.
• • Self image of the Puer is fragile and needs constant validation from others.
• • Such people have tremendous potential but waste it through escapism and lack of commitment.
• • These people need to work on their shadow and guide their inner child with responsibility and care.
• • Inner confidence is the key to overcoming the need for external validation.
• • The Puer stage is the last stage before achieving total self awareness.